Is it gay to like femboys

[femboy_getter_43]

Put your thoughts here.

[redfireyoshi]

if you are a boy and you like boys it's gay

[femboy_getter_43]

It not gay if you are attracted to the femine features it inherently shows your attraction to the female body

[femboy_getter_43]

It actually makes you more strait if you think about it you like females so much you will date any thing remotely female

[plastermaster]

[Jzeth]

When i was a younger bear, i liked the androgynous aspect of the people who crossdressed, me being as dum and really, really, really bad at recognizing facial structure, i do struggle to tell what gender anyone is, so i ask to not be rude.
I think, that if you are a hooman being and you like another human being, you are attracted to hooman beings :^)
Nah, but to actually answer the question.

Femboys, in my experience, are people who while being male ^[1], like to dress in a very femenin way, sometimes using clothes designed for women, sometimes envy or genderless clothing, up to them.
While this is my very flawed definition, i would consider myself gay if i liked them and i was a boy too. And for the record, i really like how some of them look.

Ken Ashcorp - We're Shameless

If you're into it, just be into it.

Now, don't feel bad if you see a femboy and think "damn, he's Hella cute" just enjoy the view, and be respectful, that's very important.

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1. not necesarily males, some are bigender or are people who are going through a transition process or even they are cisgender males, to present oneself as a femboy doesn't inherently tag oneself, at least each decide who they are and how to present themselves ↩︎

[Stellar]

Syne: Being a lesbian who’s also attracted to people who are not women but people that look like women could still be gay! “Attraction”, presumably at the bare minimum aesthetically, is not just some nebulous thing! If a guy looks like a girl, and you’re a lesbian, it’s no less gay to be attracted to that guy that looks like a girl! Nor is it less gay to not be attracted to him!

Similar things could be said if you’re straight! It’s no less or more straight to be attracted to a guy that looks like a girl! Cause a lot of the time attraction is anchored in the aesthetic which is a very malleable thing! It’s up for you to determine if that makes you a lil bit gay or not!

[zqlk]

Fellas!

Is it gay to like boys? I mean think about it; you're literally a man who wants to kiss other men!

This thread reminds me of a video essay I watched recently, which explored the somewhat related question of whether straight men can be attracted to trans women.

Can Straight Men Be Attracted To Trans Women? | Mia Mulder

And the answer in both cases is yes, sometimes.

Some (but not all) gay men are attracted to femboys in a gay way and some (but not all) straight men are attracted to femboys in a straight way. And for some men their attraction to femboys is the whole reason why they identify as gay/bi/pan/etc. in the first place. It all depends on how the person in question conceptualizes "being gay".

So to a hypothetical man who likes femboys only insofar as they're woman-coded, I'd say that he can still call himself straight if he wants to, but also the bisexual umbrella is big and we have cookies :3

@Anonymous

Isn’t there a term for being attracted to femininity, like…regardless of gender? Gynosexuality or something?

I feel like that’s more fitting than calling it gay

There's gynophilia, but that can also mean attraction to women. I agree though that attraction to female-presenting people of all genders is a relevant concept here.

[slow_math]

If it's straight for men to like femboys then it logically follows its gay for them to like tomboys

~

I'll throw out there something that took me a surprisingly long time to realise.
I used to think I "wasn't really attracted to men" cus I'd only feel attracted to some not all men. There's a lot of men I'm not attracted to, therefore I can't be into dudes!

Yeah turns out that's pretty normal, its pretty standard to be not attracted to literally every person you see. It's not like I was attracted to every woman I saw. ^[1]

I think it can also be harder to realise attraction to men because society demands women put a lot more effort into being attractive, and women who appear in media have to fit a narrow idea of what society considers hyper attractive.

Also men in general as well as media in addition in having less pressure and requirements to constantly look and be desireable, when they do put effort into it its usually desireable from the perspective of what straight men think people who are attracted to men want, which is often not actually that aligned with what people who are attracted to men actually want.

That all to say that it can be harder to realise you're attracted to men cus the world bombards you with sexy women to the point of it being a problem, whereas is can actually be hard to just come across good examples of attractive men ^[2] without seeking them out.

I hypothosise that a lot of mens bi/gay awakenings start with femboys/more feminine men in general because it gets around a lot of the afore mentioned barriers by providing familiar feminine marks of attraction but attached to a man.

It also helps get around internalised homophobia or more general resistance to having to realize something fundimental about your identity is different to what you thought cus you can tell yourself "it's not actually gay, I'm just attracted to them cus they look like women" so you can open yourself up to exploring your feelings without challenging some potentially difficult things.

~

So, with all that said, I think in response to "Is it gay to like femboys", rather than getting into the weeds of what is and isn't gay, I think the more pertinent question is "why do you really want to be attracted to men and not be bi/gay?"

^[3]

If it's too difficult to answer right now, that's okay, just keep exploring those feelings for now. There's a few different ways it could go, and it is worth your time to figure it out.

---

1. despite society insisting men should want to fuck every woman and should aspire to do so ↩︎

2. or at least attractive to you specifically ↩︎

3. a similar situation and question pops up for lesbians realising they're attracted to some men, I've seen people try and say stuff like "oh those men count as women tho" and like I'd like to ask "why are you so uncomfortable with the idea of being bi?" ↩︎

[dulptrine]

schrödinger’s gay

[enbybreadmint]

I agree with you but what I would argue for is a more strict definition of "the vague gay"(the gay that means homosexual not the one that means mlm), as a person who believes in infinite genders, I believe "the vauge gay" to be any 2 people in a relationship with the same sexuality or the same romantic attraction to eachother {that being said I don't believe straight women and straight men have the same sexuality but instead two different sexualities because their "sexuality" is defined by an attraction to two different things, I think that is probably a lie they made up to seem more "normal" but I still think we should call those relationships straight/hetero just not the people within the relationship that because it doesn't make sense to describe two inverse people with the same word so I don't believe in heterosexual people as a concept just in men attracted to women and women attracted to men as two separate sexualities} for example there are many gay men that are transphobic, that believe gay trans men aren't men and I think that points to an issue in are classification issues of sexuality I would split that gay into three sexualitys, them being attraction to males(which I define as straight even if you yourself are a male because why would you care about someone's sex unless it derives from a misplaced belief in reproduction), attraction to men and attraction to masculinity (I also believe in "bisexuals" and "trisexuals" would exist in between for example a "bisexual" could be attracted to men and males this describes a non-transphobic person that just has a genital preference but could make a relationship with a trans man work especially if the trans man is part way through his transition) so in my belief system a man that is attracted to men that like him for being a man is definitely gay but a masculine man that is attracted and femininity (from men or women or others) I would not call gay because the feminine person can't like him for his femininity because he doesn't present any, but he is certainly LGBTQ regardless, whilst a femboy that is attracted to a femboy just seems so much more gay to me than the previous example because they are attracted to the same thing about eachother! Anyway thank you for listening to my confusing nonsense ramble this is the only way I know how to communicate my ideas, because I don't understand how conversations work since I don't understand social cues properly, have a wonderful day everyone :3

[Bosc]

yes

[FishEmoji]

All attraction is gay, get over it

[Otsuu]

as a femboy, I sure hope so!

[Projekt]

yes. would you call a girl who likes tomboys straight?

[AcoustiCat]

Yea it’s gay and that’s cool

[notacloud]

is it gay to be gay?

[femboy_getter_43]

This might be my favorite thread of all time

[AcoustiCat]

It’s only gay when you tell them “I love you”