How do you handle stress

With it being school season and or for the older friends working season it’s easy to be stressed out so I thought a place for us to share the ways we help our self through stress would be nice

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I don't... >_<

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i used to just dissociate and then the stressful thing would be over with before i knew it, but that's like, ""not healthy"" or whatever.

i have had to trial and error many, many coping mechanisms to see what works for me! i've tried the 54321 method, the half salamander exercise, scheduling worry time, doing a full body scan, progressive muscle relaxation, and various mindfulness apps. none of that worked for me, but they are good resources for others to try! they may work for you! they just didn't do it for me. there are things that do work for me, though!

  • brain dump

sometimes (a lot of the time, recently) my mind seems to move way faster than it can actually process, and it feels like i have a brain full of thought fragments but no full thoughts. i joke about my brain's java garbage collection being poorly optimized, because that's what it feels like.

when i get in this state, i take a piece of paper or open up a notebook and write down every single thought that i encounter. no full sentences, no lines, no bullet points, just short descriptions or phrases haphazardly all around the page. if a thought keeps coming back to me over and over, sometimes i'll mark it with an asterisk or underline it to help me get it out of my system and move on. i do this until i feel reasonably sure that all of my current thoughts are on the page.

afterwards, it is far easier to sort out my thoughts. what i do with the information depends on the day, but my go-to is to divide it into three categories: things that i need to worry about today specifically[1], general reminders[2], and tasks for later or if i have energy[3].

  • taking scheduled breaks

maybe this is just a me-thing, but it feels extremely difficult to take a break when i know that i have something to do. the Thing I Have To Do feels so pressing, and i feel like i have to do it Right Now This Instant until it's Done. this is rarely mentally healthy, and even more important to my Data Brain, it's rarely the most efficient way of doing things, especially when i'm pressed for time.

rough day or not,[4] i always schedule in breaks for myself. for me, how long and how often i do this varies depending on how i feel that day, but it's always a preset amount of time. on a good day, the ratio is 50 minutes on, 10 minutes off. on a rougher day, it's 30 minutes on, 30 (or more) minutes off. the ratio itself doesn't matter, as long as i'm both making progress and taking time for myself.

this is turning into a bit of a ramble, so i will cut myself off here for now. :sweat_smile: i may add to the thread later. i hope this helps someone, though!


  1. i.e. make lunch, do Work Task A ↩︎

  2. i.e. stay hydrated, take breaks ↩︎

  3. i.e. call my brother, organize my closet ↩︎

  4. i do this on regular days too because it's easy for me to push myself past my limit without realizing until it's Far Too Late ↩︎

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Depression and the military fucked my perception of stress as in its almost always subconscious and only comes out when it reaches a boiling point

At a certain time in my life burying my stress like that was nessesary to function but now I'm trying to undo it because it makes me feel numb.

One thing i implemented is simple one day a week where i dont have to worry about anything

No homework no studying no work (unless i get called in but my job is mewseum so its fine)

However anxiety particularly social anxiety is a different beast this stress I cant bury.

Currently im at my campus surrounded by people and kinda terrified but i mitigate it through using my phone or finding somewhere quiet to settle down.

For me having 1 person im comfortable with helps a ton makes me able to loosen up and feel more comfy

Tldr Dont bury your stress acknowledge it take frequent breaks

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if it's bad i dissociate which is bad but can feel necessary

other than that i control /focus on my breathing to keep it slow and steady

if it's an option then sensory deprivation helps (things like closing my eyes and /or wearing earplugs)

if the stress isn't being actively caused and i have the option i can take a hot bath /shower, consume comfort food /drink, consume comfort media (like a_lilian's streams /vods)

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One trick that repeat dentist visits taught me, is to be conscious of your muscles and how tense they are. Take a moment to become aware of your muscles and how tense they are and then relax them.

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Plenty of people get a kick of energy to complete tasks; I get crippling dread and freeze. So managing stress is more-so getting rid of the task before it cause stress, or push away the feeling of stress so i can actually do things (including the work that induce the stress).

During uni, the self-discipline based teaching comes with quite a few traps. One thing that was important for me was setting boundaries for when i was allowed to study. Some days i may get nothing done, feel shit about it, and not allow myself to relax or spend time on something i enjoy. This kind of mindset has largely destroyed my ability to play single player games.

I set a 19:00 limit. Under no circumstance was i allowed to study past 19:00. If I've self deprecated myself for the whole day and gotten nothing done, then i have to drop it and give up when clock strikes 19:00. In practice it was a bit fluid; if I'm already in the zone then i can continue until 20. If i need to make proper dinner than i need to stop 18:30 or 18:00. But overall setting this limit saved me quite a few times. [1]

Another rule is seeing walks as sacred; I am always entitled to a proper outdoor walk during the day. I managed to infect this to some of my study buddies as-well; "We're not getting anywhere; I'll go and take walk, see you in an hour and a half". My favorite walk was about 6-7km, and i regularly took it even in rain and high wind. I quite miss having the time to do this every day [2]. I still notice a great deal of benefit from the trip to work on my mental space and energy, and always make sure to leave the house a little bit on Saturdays and Sundays.

I'm terrible with multitasking, and worrying about more than one thing at a time is exhausting. So my primary study and work tactic is choosing one task, and clump work it until completion before starting on the next. I'm not sure how easy this is to replicate, but i can kinda just... take a deep breath and momentarily delete the thought of time and consequence from my mind as i space out for a few hours on a task. For this to be possible, i need to pre-prepare food, water, and set alarms for anything other important, so i can properly let go of everything else [3]


  1. Especially bringing thoughts about work or tasks to bed ↩︎

  2. especially during the winter there isn't much sun hours in the day ↩︎

  3. and don't accidentally forget to eat or drink until i get the cold shivers ↩︎

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